Why Routine Saved My Sanity — and Helped My Autistic Son

When my son Jake was three and a half, he was diagnosed with autism. I remember sitting there, trying to process the word, wondering what our future was going to look like. I didn’t know much about autism yet. I just knew I didn’t want him to feel alone or misunderstood.

Back then, our days had no real structure. If something changed last minute? Total chaos.
Transitions were rough. Getting dressed, leaving the house, shifting from one activity to another — it all felt like walking through a minefield.

And as a single dad, I’ll be honest: there were nights I collapsed into bed thinking,
“I love this kid more than anything… why does every day feel like a battle?”

It took me a while to realize the truth:
Jake wasn’t “acting out.” He was overwhelmed by a world that never stopped changing.

Routine — plus art — changed everything.

How Art Snuck Into Our Routine (and Quietly Rewired Everything)

I’ve been drawing since I was a kid. Comics, superheroes, sci-fi — that’s always been my language. So when I started reading about art therapy for autistic children, something clicked for me.

I thought, “What if I used what I know — drawing — to reach him?”

how routine and structure helped my autistic son feel safe

So I added one simple thing to our day: Twenty-five

 minutes of drawing, every single day. Nothing

 fancy. No big lesson plan. Just the two of us, sitting together, drawing. Sometimes

 he’d scribble. Sometimes he’d draw shapes.
Sometimes he’d use colors to show how he felt — red when he was upset, blue when he was calm. I’d ask:

“Why did you pick that color?”
“Is that a happy feeling or an angry feeling?”

And slowly, art became our bridge.
He didn’t always have the words. But he had the colors. He had the lines. He had the characters.

One day in an art session, I asked him to draw himself as a superhero.
That drawing became the seed of Jake Jetpulse — the autistic superhero we ended up building an entire comic universe around.

But before it was a comic book, it was something much simpler:
It was part of his routine. A safe, predictable, creative moment in his day where he could be fully himself.

How Routine + Art Helped Jake Understand His World

Once we had that daily drawing block in place, I started weaving it into everything else:

1. Turning Learning into Superhero Missions

When his teacher mentioned he was struggling with sight words and spelling, I asked for the word list. Then I did what I do best: I started drawing.

On the back of each flashcard, I drew Jake Jetpulse acting out the word — running, jumping, flying, helping. Suddenly, “reading practice” wasn’t some boring assignment. It was a superhero mission.

It became part of our after-school routine:

  • Snack

  • Quick movement break

  • “Jetpulse Word Cards” — 10 minutes a day

Same order, same time, same hero on the card.
That little bit of predictability turned something stressful into something fun and familiar.

2. Drawing the Monsters Instead of Running From Them

Like a lot of kids, Jake had nightmares — monsters, goblins, big scary creatures.
Instead of saying, “There’s nothing there,” I handed him a pencil.

“Draw him,” I said.
“Give him a name.”

Those monsters became the villains in The Adventures of Jake Jetpulse. The same things that scared him at night turned into characters he could fight and defeat on the page. Sometimes we even made “monster repellant spray” as part of our bedtime routine — just a little spray bottle with water, but it made him feel powerful.

That routine did two big things:

  • It gave him a predictable script at bedtime

  • It taught him that his fears could be faced, named, and drawn — not just endured

3. Building the Daily Flow Around What Worked

Over time, our days started to look like this:

Morning:

  • Visual schedule on the wall

  • Same order: Wake up → bathroom → clothes → breakfast → school

  • No surprises, just simple structure

After school:

  • Snack

  • 25 minutes of drawing or Jake Jetpulse work

  • Homework (with superhero flashcards)

Evening:

  • Chill time / sensory break

  • Short activity or story

  • Bedtime “monster check” + spray + goodnight

It wasn’t perfect.
We still had rough days. We still do.

But the difference was huge:

  • Jake knew what to expect

  • I knew what was coming next

  • And our home felt less like a battlefield and more like a training ground for a young hero learning how to navigate the world

Why Predictability Matters So Much for Autistic Kids

A lot of autistic kids struggle with sudden changes, transitions, and sensory overload. That doesn’t mean they’re “bad” or “stubborn.” It means their nervous systems are working overtime.

Routine — especially when you pair it with visual supports and creative activities — gives them:

  • A sense of control in a world that feels chaotic

  • Clear expectations so they don’t have to guess

  • Emotional safety, which is the real foundation for learning, communication, and growth

In our case, art wasn’t just an “extra.”
It was the core of our routine. It turned our schedule from a list of demands into a day filled with meaning — stories, drawings, superhero missions, inside jokes.

If You’re Just Starting Out, Here’s What I’d Try

If your days feel chaotic right now, here’s a gentle place to start:

  1. Pick one time of day that’s consistently hard — mornings, homework, or bedtime.

  2. Create a simple 3–5 step routine for that time. Use pictures or icons if it helps.

  3. Add a tiny creative ritual your child enjoys — drawing, Lego building, storytelling, music.

  4. Do it every day, even if it’s not perfect. Especially when it’s not perfect.

  5. Celebrate the small wins — one less meltdown, one smoother transition, one moment of connection where there used to be frustration.

You don’t have to be an artist to do this.
You just have to be willing to repeat the good stuff until it starts to feel safe.

You’re Not Failing — You’re Building Something

If no one told you this today:
You’re not behind.
You’re not failing.

You’re building something: a world your child can understand, step by step.

Routine didn’t “fix” my son. He was never broken.
But it did help him feel safe enough to be himself — and that changed everything.

Art gave him a voice.
Routine gave that voice a rhythm.
And together, they gave us a way to move through the world as a team.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

If this story resonated with you:

  • Follow us on social media to join a community of parents raising neurodivergent heroes

  • Share a win from your own routine. Big or small — I’d love to hear it.

Because every child deserves a routine that makes them feel brave, understood, and seen.
And every parent deserves support while they build it.

Want to Go Deeper Into Our Story?

If you’d like to read how art, routine, and imagination transformed my connection with Jake — I wrote our journey in a book for parents just like us:

Becoming His Superhero: Art, Imagination, and the Parenting Lessons That Changed Everything
https://www.thejetpulse.com/becoming-his-superhero-autism-parenting-ebook

It’s a story of how I learned to meet my son where he is, see his strengths, and help him become the hero he always imagined.

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How to Help Your Autistic Child Make Friends — The Superhero Way